My princess, Nala Rose

I'm back! LOL, I haven't blogged in a while (I've been super busy) but here goes:

So I teach and coach and I love it. My daughter is now 3 (where did the time go?!) and the hubby and I have been together 10 years and we're coming up on our 6 year wedding anniversary. Man, how time flies! We're all healthy and happy.

Ms. Nala is a handful! We successfully conquered the terrible twos, which turned out to really be the terrific twos because we didn't have problems! Then...she turned three and it was like night and day! Nala started having tantrums and becoming stubborn (I blame Shaddean, lol). She was already a picky eater, but not she's taken it to another level!

My angel is not a morning person (that's from me). Waking her up is a nightmare, especially if it is before 9:00 AM. We have to wake her up every week day at 6:00 to get her ready for school and dropped off by 7:00 AM. She cries (loudly) and kicks and screams...all of which work my nerves. I try to be understanding (inside I really really really want to do the same thing when my alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning); but I've got to train her to wake up early, she'll be in kindergarten before you know it! So, I have to be mean tough mommy (no nice voice, very stern). This is hard because I just want to hug her and cuddle her, but that doesn't help her at all, it actually makes things worse.

So, then it potty time! NOT Nala's favorite time in the morning! The floor is cold, the toilet seat is cold, the bathroom is cold. To Nala, EVERYTHING is too cold. Put slippers on her feet? Nope! She complains about having them on. Bottom line: she just doesn't want to get up in the morning! After having her tantrum on the toilet, she finally handles her business. Now, on to getting dressed! Yep, another battle. She doesn't want to wear her uniform, she doesn't like those shoes or those socks. She doesn't want to wear those undies. Nothing is ever right, lol!  Then to the bathroom to brush her teeth...this is the ONLY thing Nala likes to do in the morning! No complaints or tears there! Then, it's time to wash her face, more tears and complaints.

Now, one of the most dreaded morning routines...getting her hair combed. It's like pulling teeth! She knows it's coming because as soon as her face is clean, she says, "I don't want to get my hair combed". It's sooooo hard to comb her hair with her squirming, crying, and being uncooperative! Then, once it's finally combed, she'll sometimes look in the mirror and say, "not that bow mommy" or "I don't like it". Grrr!

Getting her to school is next...and it's hit or miss. She'll either walk in on her own, or have a tantrum when I refuse to carry her in (she's about 3'9 and weighs about 35 lbs). Then on to the cafeteria. If there is anything but cereal on offer, she's about to blow up. She doesn't like funny textures (grits, oatmeal, mashed potatoes, etc.). She doesn't like the school's french toast, toast, or pancakes. It's gotten to where when they see Nala, they'll go get her cereal...special treatment just to prevent her from acting out. When she does act out...watch out! Her tantrums can last for a while. Thankfully (on one hand) she doesn't do this at home, but it still baffles me when she does it at school. She cries, screams, kicks at the table, pushes the table..Just destructo-bot. It's embarrassing! No amount of talking or soothing works, because once you walk off, she starts back up. She likes the school and the tantrums only last until after devotion. Once she's in the classroom, she's fine. It's the dropping off part that's dicey.

Pick up is wonderful, she's my little princess angel for the rest of the day...for the most part. Anything involving getting her hair combed and not getting her way equates to a very unhappy Nala. At home, there's punishment (time out, spankings do not work on this child), so we're able to handle her discipline effectively.

Weekends are awesome! We both sleep in (the earliest we get up if we have nothing to do is 9:30), we eat breakfast and we just play! We'll watch My Little Ponies, Doc McStuffins, Mickey Mouse, Princess Sofia, and the Baby's First channel. We'll play with her toys, read work on counting and alphabet sounds. We'll go visit people, basically we just have fun in a low-key relaxed way. Weekends are obviously our favorite time!

One of the qualities that I absolutely love about Nala is her love of books. Maybe because it's one of the few things she gets from me (she is truly her Daddy's child, they look like twins!). Shaddean took her to Toys R Us and told her to get anything she wanted...and she picked out a book! Makes me proud! She always wants you to read to her, and we frequently oblige her.

She loves playing doctor too! She has a Doc McStuffins play clinic and she'll sing the "Time For Your Check Up" song while using her doctor's instruments on me. It's too cute!






Now, my little one is a DIVA...when she wants to be. How she can be picky about her clothes and nail polish, but hate getting her hair done is beyond me. Shopping is a chore because she has definite opinions on what she likes. "No Mommy, not that one", "It's too small!", "It's too big", or "I don't like it" are frequent phrases that I hear when shopping for her. I let her pick what she likes, she has to wear it, but within reason. I like having her make decisions (like clothing), letting her have a little bit of independence and being able to see her decision making skills. She loves nail polish! WARNING: if she ever comes to your house hide your nail polish and makeup! If she gets ahold of your nail polish, she will take them all out in order to pick her favorite one and then ask you to polish her nails and her toes. If she picks an "adult" color, I gently take it away and direct her to pastel colors.

MAKEUP! This little girl LOVES makeup. obviously, I don't let her wear it, but...one day I left the makeup out on the counter in the bathroom and let me tell you...! So I'm laying down in my bed on my Nook Color. Nala is supposed to be watching My Little Ponies in her room...but it is too quiet; I don't even hear the TV...now any parent knows that when it's quiet, the little ones are up to something. So, I get up and walk into Nala's room, only she's not in her room but in the sink area of the bathroom (the sink area is separate from the bath and toilet). Lo and behold, Nala's face is painted with makeup! (FYI: I do my hair and makeup in her bathroom) She has on silver eye shadow and I think she tried to put eye shadow on her mouth using the makeup brush. She's swirling my makeup brush under the water and is using the brush to paint the counter-tops! So, what did I do? Snap a picture and laugh! I shouldn't have left my makeup on the counter, and I should have shut the door to her bathroom. I washed her face off and then made her come in the room with me to take a nap.

The best moments of my day with Nala? Sleeping! I love to hold and cuddle Nala when she sleeps. It's relaxing and it's like a natural stress relief. I can't possibly be upset or stressed when my angel is in my arms...although this has created a problem...she still sleeps with Mommy and Daddy for the most part. I'm working on weaning myself off of holding her and making her sleep in her room all night. She'll start off in there, but get up in the middle of the night and come into our room.  She has a hard time sleeping by herself because she likes to cuddle.

Life as the mom of a 3 year old is: hectic, overwhelming and crazy...but it's also amazingly beautiful. I love that little girl. She's sweet, sassy, and spoiled;  but she's mine (I graciously share her with Shaddean...especially when she acts out or has to get shots, he gets to be the "bad" guy).

Venting!

You can NEVER go back home. In my wildest dreams, I never would have thought that I would be 28 and living back at my parents with a child and a husband. If someone would have told me this 10 years ago, hell even 5 years ago; I'd have laughed so hard and then told them they needed to be committed to a psych ward somewhere. Cliched, but so true. 10 years ago I thought I'd be a lawyer by now, just having gotten married and no kids. 5 years ago, I thought I'd be teaching with a child. Now, present day? I'm married and have a kid working at JCPenney living with my parents. Where did it all go wrong?

First mistake was leaving a stable job of teaching to accept the risky job of coaching in a small out in the back woods town. As much as I love some of the people that I met and coached, leaving my teaching job did not work out for the best. I met great people, but lost my independence when it all ended.

Second mistake was moving back home with my parents. I'm grateful for the place to stay, but this is not working. If not for my daughter, I'd have moved to a homeless shelter months ago. Suffice it to say, you can NEVER go back home. I'll leave it at that.

Third mistake was in thinking that with this whack economy I would be able to find another teaching job. I mean everyone needs teachers right? RIGHT and WRONG! Yes, they need teachers; but it's all about who you know. By the time a job is posted, they've more than likely already found someone they want to officially hire.

So, here I am stuck at home, at JCP, and going nowhere fast. The only reason I get up at this point in life and keep pushing and trying is because I have a daughter who deserves everything I can give her. She deserves it. If not for her, I don't know where I'd be. Probably, a runaway (can you still do that as an adult? lol). And although running away doesn't solve anything, at this point in time, that option is appealing.

Life is so crappy right now. I have all of these feelings inside that I keep bottled up because if I let go, I'd end up disrespecting quite a few people and burning quite a few bridges. If I let loose , I'd find myself homeless and it's not just about me; I've got to look out for my child. Right now, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and quite frankly I don't think anyone really cares. The person who is supposed to care more than anyone (besides God) is out chasing their dreams, everyone else's concern is for my child. I'm happy that they all love her, but could someone at least pretend that they care about me?

My birthday was just 4 days ago. Want to know how I celebrated? Staying in the same pajamas that I had on the day before and cleaning. I didn't even comb my hair. I didn't go anywhere. Just cleaned. Way to ring in a birthday right?

I wish that I had done things differently. The only things that I'm grateful for as of right now is my child and my life. I tell you what though, the minute I get a better job, I'm holding on with all my might. I'm not moving or accepting any other job. When I leave this house, it'll be the LAST time I have to move back.

It's a girl!

So, if you haven't figured out by now what I'm having...IT'S A GIRL!!! I cannot tell you how happy I am! Everything has been pink since I've found out, lol! We found out about our little angel on last Thursday and I've been smiling ever since. I mean, don't get me wrong I'd be smiling if it were a boy too (maybe not as hard, but I'd still be smiling!); but I have always wanted a girl and now I'm getting one! At the ultrasound Ms. Nala couldn't keep still! I mean she was standing on her head, turning flips, and the whole time her face was pressed into her chest (that did not look comfortable and I didn't even know it was possible, lol)! Everything looked great...except we couldn't see her face (to check out her nasal bone) or her heart because she wouldn't lift her head up. We'll check it out next time when we go for our checkup with the doctor.

This past weekend we went home to show my parents the ultrasound pictures. My Dad of course is happy and Mama is over the moon. Daddy orginially thought it was a boy. When we told him (in the doctor's office, right after the "verdict" came in) it was a girl, his first words were "tell them to put their glasses on because they obviously didn't see that extra skin on the other side." I just about fell out laughing when he said that! But he was still in 7th heaven.

So, yeah we went home to show my parents the pics and to tell my grandmother she was going to have a great-granddaughter. We also decided to do some baby registry stuff. OMG, it took us about 2-3 hours in Babies-R-Us to do the registry! My mom was in charge of the little scanner wand, and she went pink crazy! It was fun, but then my back started hurting amd Shaddean's feet started aching so we had to call it a day.

We're going to go register at Target and Wally World too (that'll be this weekend). I'm just so excited to be having a girl! I've got decorating ideas and future mother-daughter trip ideas running through my head. I can't wait until she's born!

We're going to start out classical music listening today (we bought the headphones for my belly last night!), and Shaddean and I are going to start reading to her so she can recognize our voices. Although, she should already know mine by now! ;)

Pregnant!!!

So, the hubby and I are expecting a little one in mid February! Exciting right? Yes and no. Yes: I love kids and I'm excited about having my own. No: I'm tired, nauseous, and cranky. I just started my 2nd trimester and I've already thrown up twice. In my first trimester, I only threw up once. I'm more tired now than when I was in the first trimester. My clothes no longer fit, but I am losing weight. I have a headache almost every day, I'm too scared to eat in case I throw up, and no matter how early I go to sleep, I'm always tired. And not just oh I need a nap tired, I'm talking about I could go to sleep at noon and not wake up until 6 at night tired. Matter of fact, there are some days, I'll come home from work with the intention to take an hour nap and not wake up until the next day! Oh and did I mention, I'm constantly having to use the bathroom? It's like 7-8 times a day and in the middle of the night. I'm gassy, and I stay hungry (although the nausea prevents me from eating much).

Don't get me wrong however, I'm still super excited about the baby. I'm almost 4 months and I can't wait to find out what we're having. I've already started baby shopping in my head on what I want to get. I have the travel system all picked out, plus I've narrowed the crib down to 3 choices. I've already scoped out girls and boys baby clothes to see what I would want to dress my child in, and I've already got my list prepared on what I need for my baby registry. Excited much? Yes! Everyday, even when I'm going through hell, I think about when I'll finally be able to hold my little one. Will it look like me? My husband? Both of us? Our parents or siblings? Will they be tall or will they take after my Dad's side and be short? Will they play sports? Or will my daughter be (ugh!) a prissy girl? Will my son be more nerdy geek or athletic? Or will they be both? I'm hoping for both, there's nothing like a smart athlete! Will I be a good mom? Will Shaddean be a good dad? And then...Will the grandparents make our lives hell by spoiling the kid rotten?

I've already picked out the names (let's be real, I've had names picked out for YEARS!!!). Godparents have already been decided on, and I've already decided on where I want to dedicate my baby (at none other than Mt. Rose!). I stay on the internet looking at nursery room motifs to get an idea of how I want my baby's room decorated. I like pink and purple for a little princess and blues and greens for my little man. I love going to ultrasound appointments because I always experience such joy at seeing my baby on the monitor. The first two times we saw it, it couldn't be still! It was just moving its little arms and legs. This last time, it was in chill mode--literally! With one arm behind its head, and with its legs crossed at the ankles; my little angel was chilling! It was too cute!

I can't wait for February, but it seems like February can wait for me. I swear time is creeping by at a snail's pace! February please hurry! Besides the fact that I'd love to be free of these pesky symptoms, I cannot wait to meet the little one who resides within me! And it'll be a joy to see my hubby's face when he finally holds the baby. AND I can't wait to place my little one in my parents arms and say, "This is your new grand______"

Oh! And did I mention my brother and his wife are expecting their first child? And that their baby is due in February as well? And that we're practically due at the same time? And no, it wasn't planned. These little ones are our parents first grandchildren. So it's double the blessing for our family!

Immigration

While in class on my break I was reading this article on aol about illegal immigrants entering by way of the Pacific Ocean from Tijuana to California. I'm no racist, so when I say this, don't take it the wrong way...I think that if you can't get here the legal way, then don't get here the illegal way. This goes for Hispanics, people from the Caribbean, Africans, Europeans, Asians, basically people from all walks of life. I don't care who you are, do it the right way. I'm all for helping out others, but I am not all for helping out others who get here illegally.

Bottom line is this: you are a criminal. No, you didn't kill anyone or steal...but you did break the law. You did come illegally. Illegal immigrants come over and are able to get all kinds of benefits, that I cannot get. I'm talking credit cards, credit, homes, cars, etc...meanwhile, some, if not most, don't pay their hospital bills and are on welfare. Then, when they do get work, do they pour their money back in to the US? No! They send it to relatives in Mexico. I understand you're trying ot help your family, but you're here illegally, taking advantage of our government, getting welfare, and to top it off, YOU'RE NOT EVEN HELPING THE ECONOMY!!!

I've talked to some of my Hispanic students and they say, "But, Coach. You don't understand how hard it is in Mexico. We need to come over here. It's rough over there." My response is always this: "My best friends are both not natural American citizens. Lidya is from Ethiopia, and moved to Sudan when she was 6 months. You may have heard of the genocide that's going on over there. I'd say she and her family definitely had it rough. But she still came here the legal way. Matter of fact her grandmother died, and it was only after her death that she was accepted into the States. My other best friend is from the Virgin Islands, and while there is no particular sort of violence or hardship going on, she could have taken the easy route and come here illegally. Instead her parents went through the proper channels. I'm sympathetic to what you are saying, but that does not mean that coming into the States illegally is right."

All I'm saying is that if you want to live here, do it the right way. Plus, not to sound completely like a moron or an insensitive jerk...there is way too much violence and crime currently in Mexico for people to just be coming over here illegally. In this article, they stated that not only are the people coming illegally; but that they are bringing drugs as well. That's one more thing the US does not need: drugs.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again...come correct or don't come at all. Either get here the right way or stay behind in Mexico.

Oh! and another pet peeve...when you get here, learn English! It annoys me immensely when foreigners come to the US (not just Hispanics) and they do not learn English. I do not appreciate the fact that some people have been here for years and do not bother to learn the language. It's annoying to me when I have to have a conference with a parent and they can't speak English. They have to rely on their child to translate. It's annoying because sometimes there just isn't a better way of putting words in a simpler term. It's hard to see the 7 or 8 year old struggle to find a way translate what I am saying. Then, the child keeps asking me to define what I mean...learn English! I also think that it is unfair the way that we have things in Spanish as well as English. If we can't make accommodations for all languages, then we don't need to make accommodations for Spanish speaking people.

And stop creating these little villages. Little Italy, Little Mexico, Chinatown, etc. Trying to recreate what you had back home. I understand that you want to hold onto your customs and traditions, and I applaud that. However, I don't applaud you setting up companies and businesses and only hiring your race. Yet, you can apply to jobs within corporate America. We have affirmative action, but I don't see other races working in say, a Mexican or Asian restaurant. If you can't hire us, then don't try to work in corporate America.

I know I may come across as ignorant or just plain wrong in your opinion. But this is my blog and I am entitled to what I feel. I just hate it when people come here illegally, reap all kinds of benefits, set up businesses and won't hire people not of their race, and then turn around and send the profits outside of the US (effectively not contributing to the US economy).

I'm not asking you to renounce your culture, but I am asking you to contribute to the job market and to the economy...and GET HERE THE LEGAL WAY!!!!

Re-writing History to Better Suit Your Needs

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/16/texas-schools-rewrites-us-history

Check out the above link to see how people are trying to re-write history!

Upon reading this, my first thought was: Why are we trying to re-write history? They want to include "lessons promoting God and guns"? Take out Thomas Jefferson? Justify the anti-witch hunt that happened in the 50s by Senator Joseph McCarthy? What? You mean historians weren't brought in to validate some of these things before deciding to put them in the curriculum? Nooooooo! Get outta here! Religion and virtue contributed to the growth of the American Colonies? Wow! And this whole time, I thought that the growth of the American Colonies was achieved because of slavery and stealing land from the Native Americans...doesn't sound too religious and virtuous to me! The income tax should be abolished because it contradicts the Bible? "One curriculum amendment describes the civil rights movement as creating 'unrealistic expectations of equal outcomes' among minorities." Since when did equality become an unrealistic expectation?! George Wallace (former 60s governor of Alabama) and MLK were standing up for the same things? What?

How dumb do you think people are? Didn't they suffer religious persecution in England? And isn't that why they came across the "pond"? To escape religious persecution and to practice their beliefs? So why are we trying to do the same thing? I'm a Christian, but I do believe that people should not have God forced on them. They want to teach how the Ten Commandments influenced our laws and the Constitution, but you want to omit the father of the Constitution?

What kind of crap is this? This isn't an education! This is a brainwashing. America was not founded on Christian principles or on the Ten Commandments...I clearly recall some stealing and killing being involved in "securing" America for England...I clearly recall some adultery being involved between the masters raping their female slaves...I clearly recall cruelty being involved...where does this fit in with America obeying the Commandments? Oh! That's right, America was founded on these principles, America just didn't bother to follow them. So we're now going to try to teach kids to say one thing and do another...because that's how we should bring up our future leaders!

If you rewrite history, you cannot learn from the past mistakes. If you try to take out the "uncomfortable" bits of history then who are you protecting? I'll tell you, you're protecting your own guilty conscience. You're not protecting the students. History is about facts, not about figments of the imagination. For these people to try to write a history curriculum and not collaborate with historians is absolutely bogus. If they can do that, then I should be able to re-write science and math. I think I'll say that 2+2=22. Or that we all come from eggs (we were hatched!) Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

What irritates me the most is that they are trying to re-write how minorities were unfairly treated in the past. THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT ON THE BACKS AND AT THE EXPENSE OF MINORITIES!!! YOU CAN'T TRY TO RE-WRITE OUR CONTRIBUTIONS!!! YOU CAN'T TRY TO SAY THAT AMERICA WAS ONE BIG HIPPIE FREE LOVING COUNTRY RIGHT FROM ITS INCEPTION! IT WASN'T AND NO AMOUNT OF WISHING WILL CHANGE THAT. Part of the great thing about history is that you're supposed to learn from it, so that you will not repeat those mistakes, re-writing the mistakes and the bad is not learning from it.

As an African American, the very fact that people are trying to re-write our history is upsetting. First of all white ancestors stole our ancestors from Africa and effectively wiped us away from our culture and our history and made us slaves...now you're trying to wipe away another part of the history that your ancestors forced on us. African Americans are trying to establish our history and you're trying to take it away.

Let me ask you this question: do people honestly think that by trying to re-write history that the truth will not eventually come out? Will it make people feel better to break one of the Commandments that they are trying to make the school acknowledge-lying. At the end of the day if you re-write history to suit your own specific purposes you are doing nothing but lying. And as any Christian knows, a lie is a lie..no matter how, white, blue, big or small it is...at the end of the day it's a lie. AN exaggeration is a lie, omitting things is a lie of omission. People let's stop the lies...let's tell history the way it happened...not the Disneyland version of Kumbaya and good will to all.

Can you be a Christian and be in a BGLO?

As I was looking up information on my sorority, I came across a series of websites that talked about renouncing their BGLO affiliations due to their relationship with Christ. I was taken aback...not because they renounced their BGLO affiliation; but because they honestly believed that they could not remain Christians and Greek. Their reasoning is this: you pledge to honor your sorority/fraternity; help out your fellow sorors/frats in their times of need; and you pledge to "pledge your heart, mind, and soul". At first I was like, yes you do pledge these things; but as I began to look at it, I still could not see why they would make a distinction between being Christian and Greek...to me there was no comparison. I am Greek, but first and foremost I am a Christian. I pledge to honor GOD before any and everything else, but that does not mean I do not love my sorority. I'm positive that when our founders made the pledge, they were not trying to place the sorority above God. I'm also positive that you can remain a Christian while participating in a BGLO.

BGLOs do a lot for the community. Through leadership and service (to all mankind! can you tell what sorority I'm in?!) we do good works; and doesn't God want us to do good works? We worship together (there are plenty of times we all attend church service together). I don't believe that there is one soror who places the sorority above God. I know plenty of sorors (myself included) who are devoted Christians; and not only are they devoted, they are also workers in the church! So how can you say that they are not honoring and putting God first?

For instance, BJ (intials for my soror and fellow church member) teaches Sunday School to the little kids, she sang in the choir, speaks at different Women's Annual conferences, helps with the youth department as a matron, was an active member of the Young Adult Organization (until it disbanded), is an active member in the Mission Department, and to top it all off , BJ will do anything that is asked of her in the church. She's a very dedicated Christian who is constantly witnessing to others about the goodness of the Lord. She's also a dedicated member of our BGLO. She assisted with the pageant, she's active and at most community service events, she even read a poem that she made just for our BGLO at our 1oo year celebration in D.C. (you should know what sorority we belong to by now!). But if you were to ask her what she puts first God or AKA; I can honestly say, she'll choose GOD every single time. This doesn't mean that she doesn't love AKA or that she isn't dedicated...it's just saying that there is no comparison between the two. Ask any Christian that also happens to be an AKA, who/what they would choose and I can tell you that they'll say GOD every time.

Take myself for instance. I sing in the choir at church, I'm a youth matron, I'm active in Mission, I was president of the Young Adult Organization, I assisted the secretary of our church, and I taught Sunday School. I'm also dedicated to AKA. When asked to help, I help. I would help a fellow soror in a minute; but then again I would help anybody if I could, soror or not.

The problem is that people are letting their BGLO define them instead of them defining their BGLO. What I mean by this is that, AKA does not define me. It is a part of me, yes; but it is not all of me. GOD defines who I am, period, point blank. None of this means that I am not dedicated to my sorority; all it means is that there is more to me than AKA. I choose GOD every time. I help make the sorority, the sorority doesn't make me.

I almost feel as if the people who are saying that they are renouncing their BGLOs are too ashamed of some of the past behaviors they may have done in the "name" of the BGLO...but remember this...everyone has a choice; and if you choose to do things that are not Christian like, you can't blame it on the organization...you must blame yourself. If you think that your BGLO made you do something that was un-Godly, then I want you to remember this...you had a choice, and YOU chose not to do the right thing.

But guess what? God is good and He's merciful. Repent, and remember that you are a child of God; and don't do the behavior that you were so ashamed of. There are plenty of people out there who are Christian and Greek. I don't think not being in a BGLO is a requirement for being a Christian. I believe that the requirement is to believe in the Trinity, believe that God sent His only Son to die for our sins, to believe that he died on a Friday and rose on the following Sunday. I believe that in order to be a Christian you have to love the Lord; I don't believe that I am a non-Christian because I am in a BGLO.

AT the end of the day, you have to know that your faith and your relationship with God comes first. If you question that, or if you put the BGLO before God; then yes, you need to have a reality check.